Got home, kicked off the high heels that I shouldn’t have been wearing, plopped down on the couch, opened my calendar. Calendar says “study for GRE.” But here I am writing a blog post and not studying, and I’m trying to figure out whether I’m doing the “right” thing.

Today a friend said something along the lines of: “how can I waste time worrying if I might die tomorrow?” I think about this a lot, particularly as a way to calm myself down and get some perspective on life. Perspective seems to be one of the first things to go under stress. (Hint: You know it’s happening to you when you get a B- on a test and you start contemplating suicide).

I’ve gotten pretty good at cutting unnecessary stress from my life, but now I’m thinking in terms of “what if I die tomorrow” as far as studying for the GRE is concerned — and all other activities that lead to short term frustration and long term benefits.

I have a hard time reconciling the values of “plan ahead” and “seize the day.” As a student leader, I was constantly trying to figure that out how to choose between the slow and bloody battle with bureaucracy vs a short and sweet goal that makes people (and me) happy tomorrow but doesn’t amount to much in the end.

I suppose we have to live with the understanding that sure, we might die tomorrow, but we also might not, and plan accordingly for either outcome. It’s safest to assume you’re going to be around for a long, long time, but use the reminder of mortality to make sure you’re doing your best to enjoy every moment. At the end of the day, I think it’s possible to be both ready for tomorrow, and feel no regrets about the way you spent the time you’ve had, should your time run out.

So I’ll go study for the damn GRE in case I’m still alive on Saturday, but I will also pour myself a hot cup of tea (because tea makes me happy) and try to find some intrinsic motivation for relearning geometry. As for whether or not it was right for me to take the time to write this post… I don’t know, but I don’t think I will regret it.

I had a really nice talk with Hunter’s dean of student life the other day - somehow, even with all his responsibilities, he always finds the time to just talk. And that is at the heart of this blog post.

He’s worked at Hunter for 39 years now, and he always gets to his office before 6AM. He attends every student play and drives up to Hunter’s leadership retreat in upstate New York just to thank everyone for coming. He meets thousands of new students every semester and remembers their names. He answers students’ email on Sundays. He is one of the few administrators at Hunter College whom everyone respects and appreciates.

I joked with him about the beast of bureaucracy, and he told me a great Eisenhower story that summarizes it pretty well. Apparently, when President Eisenhower decided to leave his position as president of Columbia University and run for president of the United States, he said he did it because he wanted to get out of politics. Yeah…

When I asked the dean how he managed to maintain his identity and passion in the bureaucracy, he said that for him it has just been a matter of honesty and integrity. If you ask him a question he will answer it, and the values behind his answers will always be consistent.

I like that answer. I like it a lot. It means that perhaps the way to win in the game of politics is by refusing to play or perhaps by playing only by your own rules.

One of my students wrote a post on our class blog that reminded me why paying attention can change everything.

She said that the 5 minutes of class for which she was fully conscious (thanks) led her to reconnect with two friends she otherwise would have given up on. That’s one friendship rebuilt per 2.5 minutes of paying attention. She writes: “What would have happened if I
hadn’t attended class at all? I shudder to that thought.“

This line of thinking makes my head explode with infinite configurations of could’ves-would’ves. What if I hadn’t overhead that there was an advertising club in my high school? Then I would not have connected with a video company I went on to work for (on and off) for six years. I almost certainly wouldn’t be teaching video research to middle school kids now. I probably wouldn’t have met my boyfriend (since we met because of my camera), and we wouldn’t have two fuzzy little cats and an apartment together.

What if I didn’t look at the flyer someone handed me about a student leadership retreat at Hunter? Then I would not be teaching first year seminar (because the idea came up in one of our conversations), and I wouldn’t be writing this post right now.

So much of life stems from just a handful of occurances.

Obviously, we can’t pay attention to everything all the time, but imagine if we all paid just a little more attention. Maybe a few extra minutes would lead you to that one new idea, new relationship, or new opportunity that will determine where you’ll be 10 years from now.

I hope you’ve been paying attention to this blog post

I’m teaching a class on happiness tomorrow and the thought of it is telling my brain that it’s 3PM instead of the 3AM that it really is. I’m awake. I’m very much awake, and I’m trembling all over. My couch is covered in books, my notepad is full of scribbles, and up until I sat down to write this post, I couldn’t stop pacing around the apartment. My cats got tired of watching me and fell asleep.

I don’t know if happiness is something one can teach and, even if it is, whether I can teach it. I don’t know whether this class will have any impact on anyone or anything aside from my sleep cycle, but it seems that there’s a possibility that it may, and so long as that possibility exists I need to take it very seriously.

Why? What’s the point of this class? What’s the point of happiness?

The simplest answer is that it feels good. In the book A Primer in Positive Psychology (the best textbook ever written), Chris Peterson points out that happiness has also been shown to predict things like long lasting relationships, financial success, and physical health. But what makes it so God damn important in my eyes is the realization that you can either live a life bursting with joy and radiance or you can live your life as though it’s a homework assignment. An entire life cherished, or an entire life simply, spent. You only have one teeny life, and how you live it depends entirely on your perspective.

When I think of the point of happiness, I also think of the point at which my own perspective shifted forever. It was in high school, and I had been depressed for over a year, maybe a lot longer. Then in one instant, I suddenly snapped out of it. I don’t know exactly what did it (though I’m sure the antidepressants helped), but suddenly I was exuberant, and I’ll never forget the contrast between those two mental states: like lying under a pile of bricks one moment and then floating up on a cloud of balloons in the next. Being mentally present for that transition taught me how to recreate that feeling voluntarily, but more importantly, it taught me that life can feel terrible, it can feel like nothing much, or it can feel wonderful. And if it can be wonderful, why not work to make it wonderful?

Feeling wonderful makes us want to do wonderful things - to create, to build, to nurture, to solve, to take risks, and to make others feel wonderful. And that’s the point; isn’t it?

USA TODAY released a new study showing that college students are the most stressed population segment. Gosh, I wonder why?

You are…

• taking on multiple credit classes
• involved in several out-of-class activities
• working an extra job to pay for the tuition hikes
• scared your mac and cheese supply might run out
• taking out extra loans just to pay for your textbooks
• stressed about getting a job after graduation
• worried about all your socks having holes in them

Good thing college is a finite amount of time. But since you are still in college try out some tips given by SL Writer Mike Sharp on how to keep your life more balanced.

When I got to college at the age of
25 I hadn’t been involved in my community much and wasn’t very interested in
joining the clubs around campus. Getting acclimated to the notes, homework and
test thing after a 5 year break was about all I could handle. A work study job at our info. desk finally got me
involved and gave me a genuine interest in my campus. Showing up and doing the best job I could impressed a few key people, who eventually offered me the opportunity to serve as the Club
Coordinator at Front Range Community College. I went from minimal involvement to a
leadership role in two semesters.

About three weeks after getting
this job - in a system I was fairly unfamiliar with mind you - my boss left…he was there on Wednesday and  was gone on Thursday…AHHHHH!
I was greener than baby poo and still wondering exactly what my job was about.
The director of student life, my former bosses boss, was put into survival mode (her words)
after losing another full-time faculty member, putting more responsibility on me and another student worker while interviews were
conducted and student life went on…for a full semester.

I’ve finally been able to slow down and do a
bit of retrospection and have realized the power of keeping a service-minded attitude.
It’s been the most effective tool I’ve used to stay focused, learn in a high
stress environment, and keep myself sane! My purpose as club coordinator is to help
students learn outside of the class room, help take some of the
stress off of my superiors, co-workers and fellow students, and have fun, an attitude which allows me
to take things less personally and consider issues with a clearer head. Remaining pointed in this direction has sometimes pulled me in different
directions. Armed with the intention of finding a level ground (not necessarily
that which I’d prefer to stand on), an “us versus them” mentality hasn’t existed
much, which could easily have been the case considering the stress and
confusion of last semester. It has been hard finding the balance between
wanting people to like me and doing what my superiors expect of me, and it
would be easy to pat myself on the back, but I feel I’d be taking ownership for the accomplishments of others. I have gotten a lot of help during the last 7 months,
and I’ve learned a ton. My superiors, co-workers and fellow students teach
me and enrich my life. Without their help, and having a higher purpose than just getting paid, I couldn’t be where I am today.

“How is school going?” 
How many times does a college student hear that question in the course
of their student career?  How is it typically answered?  Many times it
is answered pretty much the same way as the question, “How are you?” 
As a student, I have certainly answered it that way myself, “School is
fine.”  or “It’s interesting.” or some similar expression. 
Unfortunately, I just as often hear such responses as, “It’s a drag!”
or “School sucks!” and other negative comments.  These responses make
it seem that students are unhappy at school and find it a harsh
experience, at least on the surface.  In high school this was the case
perhaps and certainly the prevailing “cool” attitude.  After all, high
school was forced on the student.  College is different.  Yes, there is
pressure, sometimes immense pressure to go to college, but ultimately
college is still a choice.  And despite the negativity voiced, I
have also seen students
spending the time and effort to achieve success in college and so know
that they really do want to learn, even enjoy learning new things.  Why
then, do they answer the question negatively?  Is it fear of
rejection?  What if we, as students, stop making it “uncool” to enjoy
learning?  What if instead, we showed our appreciation and approval?  Acceptance is a powerful weapon.   The new semester is starting and I have returned to school looking forward to all the new experiences.  So I am resolved to find
ways to let every student I can know that I think the better of them
for continuing with their education and share with them my joy of
learning. 

Late last Friday afternoon, an obviously
concerned club adviser approached me and in a vague, non-committal way communicated that their club has been directly affected by seemingly unrelated issues in their department. Now, I always want to attack an issue head-on and try to find out all the information I can in hopes of efficiently reaching a solution, so thank goodness my supervisor was there to rein me in. I don’t
really know the first thing about recognizing, let alone handling situations in which my reaction to seemingly unrelated
political agendas could land me, or my superiors, in hot water. I come from a food service background, so I do know a bit about jockeying
for the Friday night serving or bar tending shift, but this stuff was way over
my head.Taking my boss’s lead, I soon found that the most I could say was, “as a student I don’t have the experience
necessary to handle such a situation.” It all felt wrong to me though; I hate
marginalizing what I feel and being unable help
my fellow students. I still feel I should be able to bring something positive to the situation. Hey, maybe I could go to some other teachers and get their take on
the matter. Maybe I should approach the leads of the department and tactfully
inquire about the history of the teacher and the club in question, like how long
they’ve been involved together or how much experience the teacher has with student
groups. I know! I’ll ask the Dean of Transfer Education if there has been any
new hires or teachers in the department moving from part time to full time…or…crap, I’ve been sucked in!

I guess the lesson is “mind my own
business and do the best I can.” Maybe this is sort of an end to the innocence I’ve enjoyed regarding
our educational system. I want to think that the educator’s main focus is always the
student’s well-being. I also may be displaying my naivety
by believing that working toward the student’s best interest won’t step on anyone’s toes. I still feel a bit of frustration though; no
matter how I react in this situation I will be contributing to the issue and my actions will still
be a reflection of my department and superiors. In the end though, my job has nothing to
do with the professional issues of any academic department, and I won’t really be involved unless the club or department violates guidelines I have been asked to uphold. And even though I do plan on becoming a
teacher one day, I’m not one yet.For now, I get to sit back and learn from this situation, and see
what I do and don’t agree with. I can just put this experience in my mental vault for
when I do have to deal with personal agendas and defend the student’s best
interests.
All I need worry about now is the our next event and how I can help my
friends and fellow students have a great college experience. I guess I’m being shown that the most meaningful learning experiences
sometimes happen outside the class room. I’ve heard that a lot this past year, but I’m kind of having an epiphany as I recognize the truth of this statement. Action certainly
is an integral part of education.

Karter, Rosana, and Kim of Central VA Community College’s Student Government share their thoughts on kicking down doors, facebook addicts, and trying to remembering their position.

p.s. I should note my mic was not working very well so you may hear them yelling at times.